Finding the "A-ha" Moment: The Making of a n1ghtmar3cat Track

Making Music as n1ghtmar3cat

The songwriting and production processes are intertwined when I’m working on music. Because I write, produce, and mix the music, the lines between writing and producing blur into one cohesive creative experience. This is a bit different from how some artists work, where they might have rough demos of a song that they iterate until they go to a studio to record the final version. Once I start a track, it mutates within the same Pro Tools session (my production software) until it’s finished. This approach has pros and cons, but I enjoy trying songwriting, singing, and production ideas as they come to me in any order. It works for n1ghtmar3cat.

The Creative Process: A Constant Evolution

My music-making process often involves recording vocal or instrument parts and trying production moves as I think of them in my home studio. I’ll wrestle with different ideas, record myself singing, delete bits I don’t like, record alternate melodies, change the song structure around – all in pursuit of an "a-ha" moment when the song's identity reveals itself and the path forward suddenly becomes clear. From there, I only need to help the song on its journey until it feels done.

Sometimes, this lightbulb moment happens early, and the song comes together relatively quickly. Other times, a promising song idea might take months or even years to develop, and I’ll return to it periodically, trying out different ideas in the hope of finding the change that brings the track to life.

Rick Rubin talks about this phenomenon in his book The Creative Act. He calls it the arising of the ecstatic: “an artist will be in the throes of creation, and the work may seem unremarkable for a while. Suddenly, a shift occurs or a moment is revealed, and the same piece now seems extraordinary”. Anything as small as the change of a single lyric or a minor tweak to an instrument part might trigger such a shift, and we don't know when it will come.

Case Study: "Hurting Myself (and I Think I Like It)"

One of these lightbulb moments happened when I was working on the song “Hurting Myself (and I Think I Like It)” from my second album RAT RACE (2022). In its early form, it had a double-time drum beat, and while the track had something interesting about it, it just sounded overtly pop and pretty cheesy. It certainly wasn’t a n1ghtmar3cat track, and I didn’t know where to take it.

Early demo version with punishing snare drum:

At some point, I tried halving the feel of the drums and changing the drum samples. This completely changed the vibe of the track, and it suddenly made sense, going from a tacky pop demo to a pulsing, bass-driven synth-pop sound that became the foundation of the track, inspired the vocal melody, and solidified its place within the world of n1ghtmar3cat. This simple change completely transformed the song.

Final version:

Key Lessons Learned: Trusting the Process

From having a few of these lightbulb moments, I’ve learned two key lessons that have shaped my approach to music creation:

Just Get Started: The main lesson is that these lightbulb moments simply don’t happen if you don’t get started. I know that, even if I’m not feeling creative, sometimes I just have to work through a handful of bad ideas and persevere until I hopefully get the spark that gives the track a direction. Without getting started, I’m obviously not going to get to the lightbulb moment at all. If I only make music on days when I feel motivated and highly creative from the outset, my output will be severely limited because those days don't happen very often!

The Value of Incomplete Ideas: I've also come to understand that there’s nothing wrong with having tracks in various states of completion. Sometimes, a track just isn't ready to be finished, and a future version of myself - with a different mindset, new experiences, and a fresh perspective - might be better suited to complete the work. It can be nice to dig through old, half-made ideas and dive back in.

Embracing the Journey

My approach to songwriting and production is all about experimentation, trusting the process, and knowing that the "a-ha" moment will come if I push on, often when I least expect it. Whether it comes together quickly or takes years to evolve, it's important to embrace the process and trust that the song will eventually find its way.

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Trusting the process can lead to unexpected musical breakthroughs. Sometimes, you have to push through a lack of motivation to reach the lightbulb moment.